Meaning making machine.

As humans we are amazing at making meaning. We do it all the time.

In life, there is what happend and then... There is the story we make up about it.

the story is almost never true, but based on our past stories that we hold dear as true.

I'm ____________ (fill in the blank) That is a story, based on something that happened in the past. again see if it is true?

I'm shy or I can't be attractive or I don't deserve your love. This is what I carry in my head. They are based on stories that happened in my past. None are true, in fact they are meaning that I just made up.

We take these stories then we find evidence for them to prove these stories are correct..

Mandy Wesphal said no when I was 11 at dance class. My Brother had a nick name for me. My dad stopped taking me to get the newspaper when I was 12. I never told Diane Flint I had a crush on her when her friend asked me point blank... There are so many stories that we all carry around from different ages, but they are who define us. I ask... how many are true? And who we think we are, is that true too?

Only if we say so.

Mandy Wesphal, who knows why, but I sure made it mean that I was un-attractive.

My brother's nick name, well I made it mean that I was deformed or not up to par in the pants region. I still can't hear it isnt true, no matter who tells me it is un-true.

My dad didn't stop taking me to get the newspaper becasue he stopped loving me or I was a bother, like I had made up. I don't know for a fact because I just don't know, but it was around the time he was having an affair and maybe he was out getting laid. I will never know.

They stories are endless, but what is even crazier is the evidence I have gathered over the years. So I'm 17 and ask Beth out on a date. She says yes, but the day of cancels. Wow Evidence! blah blah blah....

Try this... Write your story of your life. Write everything you can think of. The good, the bad and the ugly. Write every memory you can remember.

Take it to a friend, ask them to listen, but make no comment. Just listen. Make sure that they understand, no matter how convincing or pleading you are, they are to say only "oh" or "um hm" to let you know they are listening.

Then read the story to them, read it again and again and again and again... even when you think you are done read it a few more times. See what happens to the stories? keep reading. See how much truth there is after the 15th time or 20th or 50th?

if it still seems to be real at this point, hum the tune to old macdonald in your head as you read...

At some point it will become evident you are both done. read it one more time and then stop.

Rip up the story and it will be over.

So the fact she hasn't called or written or textd..... means nothing. lol

If I so choose.